Service Journalism: March 2008 Archives
Oh la la! Have you been dreaming of a hot night of amorous action with whorish superstars such as Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer "Jenny From the Block" Lopez, or Jessica Simpson? Right: WHO HASN'T?! And guess what? Now your dreams can come true, kinda, because RADAR has alerted me to a line of truly cunning celebrity look-alike inflatable sex dolls! All of the spicy ladies above are represented, along with some sexy, unexpected wildcards like Desperate Housewife EVA LONGORIA. (Strangely UNrepresented is a Britney doll. How can they not have Britney? I don't understand.)
The J-HO doll, pictured at right, is clearly the hottest. I can certainly see the J-Lo resemblance-- who else but Jenny would wear yellow eyeshadow on her NOSE?-- but really I like this doll because she also bears an uncanny likeness to Liza Minelli. WILKOMMEN AND BIENVENUE! The J-Ho doll comes equipped with the star's signature fat ass, which you can view for yourself after the button pressy thingy. If you work in an office with inflatable co-workers, don't click, because they might find this offensive.
As a response to this disgusting video depicting three US Soldiers sadistically throwing an innocent Iraqi puppy over a cliff, we encourage all Fey readers to join us in a boycott of ALL MILITARY-THEMED PORN!
The boycott will be called off when and only when we receive a formal public apology from either the soldiers in question, the United States military, or Dink Flamingo of Active Duty Productions.
