Foolishness: March 2008 Archives
Watching VH1's new competitive reality show I Know My Kid's a Star this weekend, I couldn't help but wish that growing up I had had a mom as cool as Rocky Sanchez.
Dated Los Angeles-style rock affect, styling, and tattoos? CHECK.
Short short schoolgirl skirt on an overaerobicized 40 year old bod? CHECK.
Tampon string hanging out of her pantyless vagine? Apparently, also CHECK.
A best feyfriend forever, It's Tyler!!! Just like Bobo as a child...
For the first time in history, it's gonna start raining McCain! A new worst video of the campaign. Even more embarrassing than "Hillary and the Band."
I couldn't wait until Puppet Friday to post these puppets.
In what is sure to be a TOTAL GAME-CHANGER, we Feys have decided to switch our endorsement from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama.
The reason? This video...
(h/t PoeTV)
The reason? This video...
(h/t PoeTV)
In an unnecessarily crude outburst, spiritual feminist Marianne Williamson just told Retirement Living TV that she is not going to vote with her vagina and will apparently use her arm instead to cast a ballot for Barack Obama. I’m sure Marianne’s poll workers and fellow voters are breathing a little easier today.
These ferocious little Beast Creatures look like the unholy spawn of Xmas Nutcrackers and Cigar Store Indians, and they will devour you one tiny bite at a time.
(h/t PoeTV)
Actually, the grossest thing about this ad is not the creepy morning-wood/tongue-boner stuff, but the fact that it is selling FRIED CHEESE BALLS for BREAKFAST.
Clearly, Cheesy Tots should be a lunch or afternoon-snack food.
(h/t AdFreak)
I personally prefer the Creampie Action ones. But that's just me.
From what I can tell, this Christvertising outfit hooks companies up with networks of dedicated, proactive, and creative believers who will join hands in prayer for the prosperity and visibility of their brand.
How much this service costs, and whether or not it includes any, like, ACTUAL ad placements I do not know. But our web traffic has been pretty slow lately, and we know He certainly won't listen to any prayers We might make on our own behalf so..
Bmad? Bentkyle? JMZZ? I'll pay if you call.
(h/t AdFreak)
How much this service costs, and whether or not it includes any, like, ACTUAL ad placements I do not know. But our web traffic has been pretty slow lately, and we know He certainly won't listen to any prayers We might make on our own behalf so..
Bmad? Bentkyle? JMZZ? I'll pay if you call.
(h/t AdFreak)
It's Saint Patrick's Day, which means my block has been taken over by a bunch of drunk, slovenly sparklefatties who aren't even Irish. Well I AM Irish and it's definitely nothing to get too happy about. Where is my Leprachaun?! Where is my pot o' GOLD?
Thank you to DLISTED for reminding me of the true spirit of my homeland with this great video about some nice people who have found their leprachaun. Be sure to catch the "amateur sketch" so you will know what a leprachaun looks like if you happen to come across one yourself.
Thank you to DLISTED for reminding me of the true spirit of my homeland with this great video about some nice people who have found their leprachaun. Be sure to catch the "amateur sketch" so you will know what a leprachaun looks like if you happen to come across one yourself.
These incredibly life-like dolls, called "reborns", can even be custom-made to look like your own grown-up, coop-flown, or dead babies.For the first three minutes of a really creepy documentary about a British reborn maker and a bunch of fanatic reborn collectors, click here.
(h/t FunFriends)
And now: a preview of the new Muppet movie! Glad to know our foamy friends are as educational as ever, not to mention more, um, mature.
Orlando Patterson's astonishingly dumb take on Hillary Clinton's "3AM" ads, courtesy of the NYTimes Op-Ed page:
I have spent my life studying the pictures and symbols of racism and slavery, and when I saw the Clinton ad’s central image — innocent sleeping children and a mother in the middle of the night at risk of mortal danger — it brought to my mind scenes from the past. I couldn’t help but think of D. W. Griffith’s “Birth of a Nation,” the racist movie epic that helped revive the Ku Klux Klan, with its portrayal of black men lurking in the bushes around white society. The danger implicit in the phone ad — as I see it — is that the person answering the phone might be a black man, someone who could not be trusted to protect us from this threat.
Wow.
a bunch of giggling queers are collecting pictures of Vaginas in Nature. Isn't the female anatomy so LOL? (Answer: yes.)
(Via Fast Hugs)
Long before he had settled into his persona as New York’s eccentric gay uncle, Michael Musto was a young faggy drifter with only a backpack of drag accessories to his name. For proof, check out this clip in which he prances around in wigs and scarves with Albert “Bubblicious” Crudo, dripping camp all over the financial district.
...and she slept here! That's right, the pilot episode of Ann Jillian's classic sitcom "Jennifer Slept Here" is finally available online! "Jennifer Slept Here" tells the story of a young boy (probz gay) who moves into an old mansion in Los Angeles with his parents, only to discover it is still inhabited by the ghost of its former owner...movie-star Jennifer Barrow, played by a pert, twinklingly vivacious Ann Jillian. And only HE can see her!
As a fey it's pretty easy to relate to the metaphor for adopting a classic-movie starlet as an imaginary friend, but beyond that I have absolutely no idea what t.f. the show was getting at, or how it hoped to wring stories from its retardo premise. I'm just glad it's finally back.
(For parts 2 and 3, go here and here)
This ad for wool company Heng Yuan Xiang is apparently annoying the shit out of China. I guess that chirping girl voice is reading the name of each animal from the Chinese zodiac three times. That part's certainly annoying, but It's that looping Reichian music cue that really makes me want to put a nailgun to my temple.
Ad kicks in at 0:10.
(h/t AdFreak)
The Hollywood Reporter has announced that Showtime has picked up TV masterpiece "The L Word" for a sixth and final season! (Read the details here; be sure to get a load of the reporter's name.)
With an end date in sight, I think we are this much closer to finding out whether America's favorite will-they-or-won't-they lezzie supercouple Bette and Tina (pictured at left) will wind up together!
So you're sitting at home watching some porn when suddenly A MAN BURSTS IN WITH A SWORD!!!!!
(Via Jezebel)
Happy MADAME FRIDAY from us here at FeyFriends. Faggy puppet links all day! Well probably not really. But maybe! Whatever-- Bobo's post about Madame inspired me to repost this classic think piece from Blair Magazine: Madame vs. Lester vs. Lady Elaine Fairchild (from Mr. Rogers.) WHO WOULD WIN? As Blair's David Chlopecki notes:
Well to start off with it's not really a fair fight. It's two wealthy white women puppets versus a nappy, and thus presumably poor, black puppet. Yes, you may be outraged by this assumption but I am forced to raise it due to the fact that 1) Lester's' career is over, 2) I don't see any royalties coming in the near future, and 3) he's a minority.
This article made me LOL and LOL when I was in high school. Somehow it seems even more IMPORTANT now. Happy Madame Friday!
Wayland Flowers must be turning over in his gayve! Just look at these SHAMELESS IMPOSTERS above: puppeteer Joe Kovacs and some two-bit diva fraud with the gall to call herself "Madame". This money-grubbing 'resurrection' of the Madame cash-cow, perpetrated by the Estate of Wayland Flowers (i.e., backstabberess supreme Marlena Shell, Flowers' former agent) has gone largely unreported. Where is the OUTRAGE?
If your stomach can handle it, I point you towards this footage of Fake Wayland and Fake Madame yukking it up on some gay-ass talk show.
A gay show called "The Ointment?" Pardon me while I go VOM. But the best (meaning WORST) part? Joe's lips...moving! Clearly, he is no Wayland!
As a lifelong admirer of Wayland Flowers and his sublime creation, Madame (host of "Solid Gold," protagonist of the immortal sitcom classic "Madame's Place", and lead actress of perhaps the greatest film of all time, "Madame in Manhattan") I find this travesty to be simply unforgivable.
JK! Just the first two!
This epic, four-part fan-made movie ranks up with Ed Wood's best for infectiously energetic amateurishness. You'll laugh at its failings--inconsistent audio, cheesy special effects, less-than-convincingly-athletic-looking superheroes--but still stand in awe of its can-do spirit and epic ambitions.
Or at least Bmad will.
(You can watch parts 2, 3, and 4 here, here, and here).
(h/t PoeTV)
This epic, four-part fan-made movie ranks up with Ed Wood's best for infectiously energetic amateurishness. You'll laugh at its failings--inconsistent audio, cheesy special effects, less-than-convincingly-athletic-looking superheroes--but still stand in awe of its can-do spirit and epic ambitions.
Or at least Bmad will.
(You can watch parts 2, 3, and 4 here, here, and here).
(h/t PoeTV)
...how to avoid bad acid trips!
You can tell Druggie Girl is an excellent guide.
Washington Post op-ed writer Charlotte Allen has pulled a Benedictrix Arnold on her sisters and revealed a well-guarded secret formerly known only to her fellow females and to the respective creators of "Three's Company" and "She's the Sheriff": women are stupid.
Allen is very persuasive, citing such diverse and thoughtful examples as the success of "Grey's Anatomy", the popularity of Barack Obama, and the mismanaged debacle that is Hillary Clinton's "stupidest" campaign for the White House, to support her argument that women are merely "children of a larger growth."
Now, I know there are plenty of women and women-sympathizers out there who are going to resent Ms. Allen for letting the cat out of the bag -- some of them are already flinging feces at her good name over at HuffPo -- but I for one am grateful that she broke the silence.
Moreover, there's no need for ladies to (stupidly, natch) get their panties in a bunch. As Ms. Allen so wisely counsels her sisters in stupidity:
Allen is very persuasive, citing such diverse and thoughtful examples as the success of "Grey's Anatomy", the popularity of Barack Obama, and the mismanaged debacle that is Hillary Clinton's "stupidest" campaign for the White House, to support her argument that women are merely "children of a larger growth."
Now, I know there are plenty of women and women-sympathizers out there who are going to resent Ms. Allen for letting the cat out of the bag -- some of them are already flinging feces at her good name over at HuffPo -- but I for one am grateful that she broke the silence.
Moreover, there's no need for ladies to (stupidly, natch) get their panties in a bunch. As Ms. Allen so wisely counsels her sisters in stupidity:
"Relax, enjoy the innate abilities most of us possess (as well as the ones fewer of us possess) and revel in the things most important to life at which nearly all of us excel: tenderness toward children and men and the weak and the ability to make a house a home."Hey....that's actually some pretty clever advice, coming from a Stupid Idiot LadyFace!
As a response to this disgusting video depicting three US Soldiers sadistically throwing an innocent Iraqi puppy over a cliff, we encourage all Fey readers to join us in a boycott of ALL MILITARY-THEMED PORN!
The boycott will be called off when and only when we receive a formal public apology from either the soldiers in question, the United States military, or Dink Flamingo of Active Duty Productions.
