Celebritiezzz: September 2008 Archives
Someone is trying to rough up Gwen Ifill, the moderator of Thursday's soon-to-be-canceled VEE PEE debate.Ifill broke one of her ankles last week while navigating a staircase. The mishap was debate-related; she was toting research material for it when she missed a step.Yeah right! This was no mishap! I am honestly scared for Gwen's life. Could she be the next person aerially shot from a low-flying plane in the middle of winter when there is no way to escape? Stop Pig Palin before it's too late!
(via LAT)
Billionaire term-limits-lover-turned-term-limits-hater-Democrat-turned-Republican-turned-Independent Mayor Michael Bloomberg has announced plans to seek a third term, even though NYC law does not allow it. Gimme! More! Now!
The move represents an about-face for Mr. Bloomberg, who has repeatedly said he supports term limits and once called an effort to revise the law “disgusting.”Does this mean he's a Republican again? Lest we forget it was just four years ago that Mr. Bloomberg had this to say at the Republican National Convention in his endorsement of GEORGE W. BUSH:
I want to thank President Bush for supporting New York City...and for leading the global war on terrorism.
(APPLAUSE)
The president deserves our support.
(APPLAUSE)
We are here to support him.
(APPLAUSE)
And I am here to support him.
(APPLAUSE)
Wonkette is reporting a rumor that Pig Palin's pink lipstick might in fact be PERMANENTLY TATTOOED on her lips! We'll let you know when there's more to know.
Is there anything better/trashier than cosmetic tattoos?
(Huffpo, via Wonkette)
Is there anything better/trashier than cosmetic tattoos?
(Huffpo, via Wonkette)
* The Gossip Girl Guys get the cover story treatment from Details. The article, penned by superfey Mark Harris, digs deep into Chase Crawford, Ed Westwick, and Penn Badgley relationships to chestwaxing, fame, "bromance," gay rumors, and even gayface. (via Towleroad)
* Bravo is developing a new reality show spun off from the essay collection about fags and their hags, "Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys." Whether the show will be a docu-series or a competition remains to be seen; AfterElton has some speculation on the matter.
* Fey Fave Sarah Michelle Gellar was at Seaworld where she petted the dolphin! (via JustJared)
* Sarah Palin and John McCain had a nice little sitdown with Katie Couric in which John McCain played the role of Daddy Protector to a nauseatingly anti-woman 'T.' In case you can't bear to watch, yes Sarah Palin looked just as stupid and unprepared as ever.
* At the prodding of some Fox News halfwits, McCain suggests he may suspend his campaign once again. Well it worked so well the last time!
* Today's polls for Barack Obama are very encouraging. (via 538)
* Are we facing a complete LIBERAL REALIGNMENT in America? This guy AND this guy AND this guy think we might be...and these guys are hardly liberals themselves. YAY!
* Introducing The Jitterbug, the cellphone for old blindos! (PoeTV)
* Bravo is developing a new reality show spun off from the essay collection about fags and their hags, "Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys." Whether the show will be a docu-series or a competition remains to be seen; AfterElton has some speculation on the matter.
* Fey Fave Sarah Michelle Gellar was at Seaworld where she petted the dolphin! (via JustJared)
* Sarah Palin and John McCain had a nice little sitdown with Katie Couric in which John McCain played the role of Daddy Protector to a nauseatingly anti-woman 'T.' In case you can't bear to watch, yes Sarah Palin looked just as stupid and unprepared as ever.
* At the prodding of some Fox News halfwits, McCain suggests he may suspend his campaign once again. Well it worked so well the last time!
* Today's polls for Barack Obama are very encouraging. (via 538)
* Are we facing a complete LIBERAL REALIGNMENT in America? This guy AND this guy AND this guy think we might be...and these guys are hardly liberals themselves. YAY!
* Introducing The Jitterbug, the cellphone for old blindos! (PoeTV)
Is heaping praise on the already much loved Kristen Wiig so obvs as to be not worth doing? I. DON'T. CARE.
This Saturday, at the invitation of our friend Connie Klein, me and JMZZ got to sit in the pit at a SNL taping. Connie (she's a writer for the show) set aside a pair of tickets for us because she knows what a big Anna Faris fan I am, but good as Faris was, Wiig was even better. Not only was she a star or featured player in virtually every skit, she also warmed up the crowd by singing a persuasively sexy and rocking rendition of "Hanging on the Telephone!" That's like tied with 11:59 as my fave Blondie song!
I even have a SCOOP from the set! As Kristen Wiig performed her Judy Grimes skit on Weekend Update I overheard someone affiliated with the show talking about how amazing she is, and how she is clearly the heir to Amy Poehler's title of Reigning Queen of SNL. Wait, what? Everybody knows that that's how Wiig is perceived both inside and outside SNL? Oh. And also, I didn't really see the guy who said it, so for all I know he might have been a grip. Come to think, he may've just been an audience member.
But still: reportage! My first ever!
For more Wiig analysis and a totally not exclusive Wiig clip from last night's SNL, click on the pressy!
This Saturday, at the invitation of our friend Connie Klein, me and JMZZ got to sit in the pit at a SNL taping. Connie (she's a writer for the show) set aside a pair of tickets for us because she knows what a big Anna Faris fan I am, but good as Faris was, Wiig was even better. Not only was she a star or featured player in virtually every skit, she also warmed up the crowd by singing a persuasively sexy and rocking rendition of "Hanging on the Telephone!" That's like tied with 11:59 as my fave Blondie song!
I even have a SCOOP from the set! As Kristen Wiig performed her Judy Grimes skit on Weekend Update I overheard someone affiliated with the show talking about how amazing she is, and how she is clearly the heir to Amy Poehler's title of Reigning Queen of SNL. Wait, what? Everybody knows that that's how Wiig is perceived both inside and outside SNL? Oh. And also, I didn't really see the guy who said it, so for all I know he might have been a grip. Come to think, he may've just been an audience member.
But still: reportage! My first ever!
For more Wiig analysis and a totally not exclusive Wiig clip from last night's SNL, click on the pressy!
Continue reading Fey Appreciation: Kristen Wiig.
An issue that maybe I should take up with a psychiatrist: I'm completely comfortable peddling soft-core smut on Feyfriends, but only as long as I'm putting up pictures of men I myself find either totally absurd or completely unattractive. Like when I discovered a load of nude screencaps of Scott Baio-sidekick Willie Aames I knew I could throw them up here with no feelings of personal discomfort or squeamishness.
Is it an addiction to irony and mockery that drives my inclination, or is it the fact that if I were to put up pictures of men I DO find irresistable--Harvey Kietel, Benjamin Netanyahu--nobody would ever come here again?
OH WAIT! You don't care! You just want to see pics of Buddy Lembeck naked! (What is wrong with you?)
For fully nude NSFW screencaps of Willie Aames and his revolting ringlets, click on the button pressy.
Continue reading Willie Aames: Willy & Aass.
Please make this be true:In an election campaign notable for its surprises, Sarah Palin, the Republican vice- presidential candidate, may be about to spring a new one -- the wedding of her pregnant teenage daughter to her ice-hockey-playing fiancé before the November 4 election.Inside John McCain's campaign the expectation is growing that there will be a popularity boosting pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, 17, and Levi Johnston, 18, her schoolmate and father of her baby. "It would be fantastic," said a McCain insider. "You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week."
Poor, hot Levi!
How did everyone miss this? In last night's PRESIDENTIAL debate, when Obama called McCain out on his foolish opposition to holding a meeting with the prime minister of Spain b/c he's a Mexican terrorist, McCain CUSSES HIM OUT! He called Obama's TRUE claim "HORSESHIT"!!!!!
Swing voters h8 swearing. On the other hand, Republicans might think "yay, he's a hateful, erratic, bitter old white man, just like us!"
Can the FCC plz fine McCain ASAP??!
UPDATE: Maybe he is saying "WARSHINGTON."
It looks like Project Runway's move to the Kathie Lee Gifford Network might not be quite the done deal Harvey Weinstein was hoping for!
From Variety:
The weird part is that even I, who know next to nothing about entertainment law, could see this coming. The whole thing was obviously a desperate, impulsive, and contract-violating move on Weinstein's part, who obvs just wanted to squeeze every last possible cent out of the franchise to boost his flagging fortunes with no regard to his credibility or to the legitimacy of his claims. If you're wondering if I'm building up to making a very forced comparison with this guy...you'd be right. I'll stop.
From Variety:
A New York judge granted a preliminary injunction on Friday, temporarily barring the Weinstein Co. from moving the reality series "Project Runway" from Bravo to Lifetime or marketing any such move.
The ruling puts the fate of the show, which is currently skedded to bow its sixth season on Lifetime in January, in limbo. Production is continuing in Los Angeles, however.
"The overwhelming evidence demonstrated that The Weinstein Company violated NBC Universal's right of first refusal to future cycles of 'Project Runway,' " NBC U said in a statement. "After hearing all of the evidence, the court issued an order prohibiting The Weinstein Company from taking the show or any spinoff to Lifetime."
The weird part is that even I, who know next to nothing about entertainment law, could see this coming. The whole thing was obviously a desperate, impulsive, and contract-violating move on Weinstein's part, who obvs just wanted to squeeze every last possible cent out of the franchise to boost his flagging fortunes with no regard to his credibility or to the legitimacy of his claims. If you're wondering if I'm building up to making a very forced comparison with this guy...you'd be right. I'll stop.
No Wii R Not!
Fey Recap: This week we looked at Survivor's Dickslip, Playgirl's Smushy Tushies, Sarah Palin's Big Adventure, Diesel's Cartoon-cloaked Porno, the Hip New Face of Homophobia, and congratulated Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan's Gay Marriage of Stylish, Elegant Convenience. What follows is what we neglected to mention.
It Sings!: Perez Hilton released his first single, "The Clap." Sample lyric: "When you love someone, take it slow/Don't let them rape your bussyhole." I like it.
Buffy's Back!: Sarah Michelle Gellar is in talks to star in a new HBO halfhour called "The Wonderful Maladys." This is so crazy because just yesterday while watching my new favorite show "True Blood" I had the (totally unoriginal) thought that SMG really, really needed to return to television, where she was the biggest effing star ever, from movies, where she was...not.
Speaking of Buffy: this picture made us LOL.
Speaking of True Blood: We can't help it, we (me and JMZZ) are in love with this show. This is one reason why.
Speaking of Things We Love: Hipster Runoff is the funniest altblog ever, yall. But we wonder: iz it insufficiently Alt 2 lyk things that r funny? Or 2 say we like those things? Srsly, shud we just be ALT e nuff 2 kno in our hearts that a thing is kewl, w.o. having 2 say it on our blog? What do yall think?
David Foster Wallace: Salon has this account of the last month's of DFW's life. N+1 has a student's account of DFW as a teacher; another of his students posted DFW's amazingly sweet and funny and obsessively detailed class syllabus here.
Clay's Gay: Clay Aiken came out of the closet this week, surprising exactly no one. Oh wait, lots of people were suprised! And ticked off! And homophobic! Oh well, the whole thing at least served as an occasion to remind us that FourFour is at his best and most eloquent when being totes earnest about gay stuff.
Robomommy Fail: Sarah Palin sat down with Katie Couric to discuss Alaskan-USSR relations and to reveal to the world that Steve Schmidt, Rick Davis, or whoever has been prepping her for her media appearances accidentally spilled water on her circuitboard. However, all is forgiven because apparently Palin is the the most conscientious "Thank You" note writer ever!
McClown Fail: McCain suspends campaign to help with the economic crisis, except he neither suspends his campaign nor helps.
WaMu Fail: Looks like I'm going to need a new place to deposit our pennies--PENNIES!--in ad revenue. (Srsly, yall...visit our sponsors.)
Kenley Fail: Bmad was right, I was wrong. Project Runway's Kenley IS a petulant ladybrat.
Wild Combination: Matt Wolf's documentary about musical genius Arthur Russell opens today at IFC for a limited run.
Srsly, readin hipsterrunoff is messin' with our personal brand...we can't stop writing like him. Oh well, happy weekend, yall!
When it comes to the financial crisis, everyone's an expert. But Ann Coulter really gets it. In a column titled
"THEY GAVE YOUR MORTGAGE TO A LESS QUALIFIED MINORITY," Ann identifies the newest Fox News theory on why we got into this mess. No, not greed, not lax regulation, but a combination of conservatives' two least favorite things -- BLAXXX and BILL CLINTON!
Under Clinton, the entire federal government put massive pressure on banks to grant more mortgages to the poor and minorities. Clinton's secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Andrew Cuomo, investigated Fannie Mae for racial discrimination and proposed that 50 percent of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's portfolio be made up of loans to low- to moderate-income borrowers by the year 2001.With friends like these...
Instead of looking at "outdated criteria," such as the mortgage applicant's credit history and ability to make a down payment, banks were encouraged to consider nontraditional measures of credit-worthiness, such as having a good jump shot or having a missing child named "Caylee."
Okay Claymates, you can go ahead and jump out the window now! You will never have the privilege of experiencing Mr. American Idol In Waiting Clay Aiken's silky ween or ample boibewbs!Kelly Ripa, better go get that STD test after all!
This will come as a stunning shocker to no one, but CLAY HAS COME OUT!
In honor of this momentous occasion I urge all proud Feys to follow the link, light some candles, put a slow jam of IF I WAS INVISIBLE on the hifi and masturbate to his erotic (but only seminude) webcam pics and romantic (yet charmingly chaste) chat room dialogue.
Continue reading FEY ALERT: CLAY'S GAY!.
"I went to the U.N. today and met all of these really famous leaders! Here are my photos (for FACEBOOK) LOL!"
"Thanks, but no thanks, Henry Kissinger!"
###
"President Uribe, did you know that I can see Russia from my house?"
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"Hamid, do you know the difference between a haaackey maaam and a pit bull? LIPSTICK! LOL!!!"
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"President Uribe, did you know that I can see Russia from my house?"###
"Hamid, do you know the difference between a haaackey maaam and a pit bull? LIPSTICK! LOL!!!"
Ding dong! That was the sound of wedding bells for designer gays Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan who got married late last week.Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler were married Thursday evening at the Clift Hotel in San Francisco. Howard Steiermann, a minister of the Universal Ministries, officiated at a ceremony that included Jewish traditions.Adler is the j'adorable interior decorator and judge on Bravo's Top Design, Doonan is the creative director of Barneys.
Congrats to these pocket pet homos on their stylishly sexless marriage!
Remember this coffeehouse dyke from the mid-90s? The one you thought might get famous one day for writing a bitching feminist zine or maybe an underground comic? Can you believe she grew up to become a shiny, post-Ellen powerhouse of a MSM pundit? With her own show?
I am so proud of Maddow. Scratch that: I am so proud OF US.(image via Gawker)
Outrageously, it looks like the Republican Kriminal Korner will not be gaining a new member after all.
Disgraced homo former Congressman MARK FOLEY (R-Gayface) will NOT, i repeat NOT, face criminal charges in Florida for his sexual relations with teen boi twinks. Why???? State officials claim there was "insufficient evidence to pursue criminal charges" against Maf54.
Oh please!! I'll give you some evidence:
Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny
Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself
Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha
Maf54 (7:54:31 PM): where do you unload it
Maf54 (7:55:51 PM): cute butt bouncing in the air
Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now
Maf54 (8:00:53 PM): i like steamroom
Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake
Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): grab
Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): get a ruler and measure it for me
Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful
Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great size
Want more? The complete IM transcripts from
Mark Foley's disgusto conversation with an underage congressional page are after the BUTTON
PRESSY
Continue reading Foley Must Be Fingered!.
In her distinctive jewbaggy way, Sandra Bernhard has a lot of naughty things to say about Sarah Palin.
Like John McCain behind closed doors, Bernhard calls Palin an "Uncle Woman," a turncoat bitch and a whore in her recent one-woman show. She also criticizes Palin's "fucking" NuVision™ "cheap ass plastic glasses."
To be fair, the hideous glasses are actually pretty pricey! At $400 a pop, you too can look this lame.
According to this ad for Friday Night Lights. Or maybe that's more of a Moses pose? Either way, Bmad is so going to use this utterly retarded promo as supporting evidence for his "FNL is totes lame" theory.
(h/t Videogum)
I'm starting to notice a troubling pattern to our posts on this site. With so much coverage of Sarah Palin, Shannon Doherty, Anna Faris, Druggie Girl, and Scary Sadshaw alternating with the occasional DickPix, it goes something like "Lady, Lady, Lady, PEEN! Lady, Lady, Lady, PEEN!"
Actually, put that way it sounds like exactly how we should be doing things. Carry on!
(h/t Videogum)
Did anyone watch 90210 last night? I know, I know-- it sucks ballz. But I watched it anyway and how old and decrepit did BRENDA WALSH look!? I guess you have to give her credit for totally not having any plastic surgery. She looked like bloated grandma! And also why have I never noticed the gap in her front teeth? Well, she's still beautiful-- just beautiful and wrinkly and looking like she's a month late for an AA meeting.
If anyone has any screen captures of Doherty from last night, please send to bmad AT feyfriends DAWT com
Yay! Brad Pitt donated $100K to fight California's ballot initiative to overturn gay marriage.
''Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8."
I wonder if this means Angelina is still an undecided voter or if she's now a McCain supporter like her "used tampon" dad.
As me, JMZZ, and our movie companion were leaving the theater after watching Anna Faris' blissfully stupid comedy, "The House Bunny" last night, I mentioned that I couldn't believe the critics who panned it had seen the same movie we had. Our companion responded, "They probably didn't." At first I doubted her theory that critics often skip movies they feel they can safely fake a review of, but having glanced at these reviews again I think she might be right.
At the AV Club, Scott Tobias suggested that Anna Faris fire her agent for putting her in this movie. A number of other critics made basically the same point: that she is a gifted comedienne who deserves and needs material better than this. Uh, what? This movie is the perfect vehicle for Anna Faris: an hour and a half of her playing gape-mouthed stupidity and glee. Nothing else in the movie works, but that alone is enough for epic lulz.
This is from Teddy Fry's review from the Seattle Times:
"In its shameless pandering to youth obsessed with sex and mindless gratification, this slapdash accretion of vapid gags is aimed squarely at empty-headed teens interested only in leering at supple bodies and dreaming of the day they can find a college where ogling hotties and humiliating losers is the core curriculum."The guy spends the first four paragraphs talking about what a retrograde and lascivious dumb-blond joke the whole movie is, and then in his conclusion singles out Hugh Hefner's cuddly walk-on as the highlight of the movie and its one saving grace. Um, the ONLY questionable thing about this movie* is Hugh Hefner's presence. Anna Faris embodies the absurdity of the very idea of a "Bunny," but with Hef around we can only be reminded of his real-life, revolting, and stale avuncular pajamaed-Svengali schtick.
*Besides its shoddy editing; a go-nowhere romantic plotline, several character arcs that are sloppily abandoned halfway through and supporting performances handled by the director with absolutely no eye to tonal consistency; and the fact that the movie rehashes the plots of movies that were already rehashes of other rehashed movies. But these things don't matter at all. Hence the footnote.
