Homophobia: Now for Mac Users!Until we visited the spiffy new iProtect website, we were under the impression that California's gay-marriage repealing Proposition 8 was just a fast sinking ballot measure put together by dingbat Gail Knight and a bunch of old, retarded Mormons. But thanks to the thoroughly geriatric ProtectMarriage.com's
"My name's Chinpussy. My favorite things are homophobia and Fred Durst's chode."
Fall into The Gap with this soulful cashmere-clad brother...or he will spoken-word some anti-gay schooling on yer ass.
"Just ask Rome! ZING!"
Wow! Sk8rH8r is a master of both bitchin' ollies and stingingly rhetorical questions!If you think iProtect's homepage is a supreme piece of cultural retardation, just wait till we lead you through their gay marriage "Video Poll!"
If I say no, then I will be setting myself up as their allies in anti-gay discrimination. But if I say yes, they'll just start blabbing at me about is-it-okay-to-marry-your-dog and other Cornyny nonsense. Well, I'm just going to click "YES" and see what happens.
The answer apparently is "NO!" According to Tommy Lee (above):
"Can I marry my MOM because I'm in love with her? That doesn't make it right. That's weird...can I marry my sister? I'd take a bullet for her. I'm in love with my family. Can I marry my sister or my brother-in-law? Men and women have always been the perfect model for marriage in this perfect design of natural order."
COOL! Sounds like Creed lyrics! Just after getting an earful from this stoner douchebag--he'd "take a bullet," how tough!--this prim little bitch pops up to give us a second dose of the same medicine:
"Okay so I love my dad very much and we have a really close relationship. So should I be allowed to marry my dad? Or what about my sister? Cuz I love her. If two men and two women are allowed to get married, why not five men?"
They're really pushing the slippery-slope-to-legal-incest argument here. But what about men-on-puppy sex?!
Let me take this moment to compliment iProtect on the look of their Video Poll. Very early 00's V-H1!
This question bores me. Mind if I skip it?
Since when is there only ONE ("the") alternative lifestyle? My nuanced answer to this question is no, it is not fair to teach a first grader about vanilla-brand homosexuality unless they are also taught about punchfisting. But for the sake of argument, let's just say "Yes."
"Well don't you think that gender is determined by biology? Because the California public school system doesn't. To them, a kid's gender is determined by how he or she is feeling that day. Don't you think that would confuse the kid?"
I don't know, but your explanation sure as hell confuses THIS KID! Maybe iProtect's strategy is to seduce its readers into homophobic compliance through the artful use of incoherence and non-sequitur...if so, kudos!
Oh God, I actually feel compelled to bite on this one: YES! It is "discrimination" in the purest sense of the word...whether it's right or wrong, legal or illegal, is an entirely separate question. Clicking "Yes."
This guy is a priest or pastor or something, and he's talking at me about how he has to choose who to marry in his church every day in his congregation.
I have a question for him: Is it wrong for a priest or pastor to have the world's most egregious Ski Tan?
Absolutely NOT! By all means teach every high school student in America about the fate awaiting most heterosexual unions: tedium, sexual dissatisfaction or utter sexlessness, suicidal ideation, Sam's Club membership, weight gain, and death! Just as long as you mention the perks of homosexuality: child-free living, scads of disposable income, white parties, rimjobs, and, for a special, once-a-week treat, BLOW!
Seriously: so glad I'm gay.
Yes, I think it's "okay." I think it's easier for me to say that because I know your ballot measure is going to FAIL. Clicking "Yes."
"You're awesome! Neither do I: we are all entitled to our own opinion."
OMG. This "poll" rewards users for the 'correct' answers by stroking them and calling them "awesome?" THIS IS THE BEST POLL EVER. Even more LOL: that "neither do I." Oops! Looks like the scriptwriters lost track of their own question's logic!
Yay for idiots!
Yes?
"If you're going to bring Jesus this this, this is what he said." Ooh, brace yourselves for some HEAVY SCRIPTURE. "He said: To love God is to obey God. And so if you're going to bring someone else into your life you are helping them to obey God to the fullest. Jesus said that God created a man and a woman to be married. That is obeying God."
Uhhh. How does that answer the question? We are definitely back in non sequitur snow-job territory.
Let me guess: you're going to pop-up a Black person to scold us for daring to suggest that there might exist more than one civil-rights "struggle" ever? And to claim that to raise the issue of one is necessarily to diminish the significance of the other?
Ding Ding Ding! Also she suggests that gay people can stop being gay with "counselling."
Well, I've got to give iProtect credit for casting such a diverse (paid?) group of multiculti youngsters to spread their disinformation and hate! Bravo!
Oh, and for the record, this is what happens if you click "No" to the last question:
"Great answer!"
No joke: that is all she says.
The answer apparently is "NO!" According to Tommy Lee (above):"Can I marry my MOM because I'm in love with her? That doesn't make it right. That's weird...can I marry my sister? I'd take a bullet for her. I'm in love with my family. Can I marry my sister or my brother-in-law? Men and women have always been the perfect model for marriage in this perfect design of natural order."
COOL! Sounds like Creed lyrics! Just after getting an earful from this stoner douchebag--he'd "take a bullet," how tough!--this prim little bitch pops up to give us a second dose of the same medicine:
"Okay so I love my dad very much and we have a really close relationship. So should I be allowed to marry my dad? Or what about my sister? Cuz I love her. If two men and two women are allowed to get married, why not five men?"They're really pushing the slippery-slope-to-legal-incest argument here. But what about men-on-puppy sex?!
Let me take this moment to compliment iProtect on the look of their Video Poll. Very early 00's V-H1!
This question bores me. Mind if I skip it?Since when is there only ONE ("the") alternative lifestyle? My nuanced answer to this question is no, it is not fair to teach a first grader about vanilla-brand homosexuality unless they are also taught about punchfisting. But for the sake of argument, let's just say "Yes.""Well don't you think that gender is determined by biology? Because the California public school system doesn't. To them, a kid's gender is determined by how he or she is feeling that day. Don't you think that would confuse the kid?"I don't know, but your explanation sure as hell confuses THIS KID! Maybe iProtect's strategy is to seduce its readers into homophobic compliance through the artful use of incoherence and non-sequitur...if so, kudos!
Oh God, I actually feel compelled to bite on this one: YES! It is "discrimination" in the purest sense of the word...whether it's right or wrong, legal or illegal, is an entirely separate question. Clicking "Yes."This guy is a priest or pastor or something, and he's talking at me about how he has to choose who to marry in his church every day in his congregation. I have a question for him: Is it wrong for a priest or pastor to have the world's most egregious Ski Tan?
Absolutely NOT! By all means teach every high school student in America about the fate awaiting most heterosexual unions: tedium, sexual dissatisfaction or utter sexlessness, suicidal ideation, Sam's Club membership, weight gain, and death! Just as long as you mention the perks of homosexuality: child-free living, scads of disposable income, white parties, rimjobs, and, for a special, once-a-week treat, BLOW!Seriously: so glad I'm gay.
Yes, I think it's "okay." I think it's easier for me to say that because I know your ballot measure is going to FAIL. Clicking "Yes.""You're awesome! Neither do I: we are all entitled to our own opinion."OMG. This "poll" rewards users for the 'correct' answers by stroking them and calling them "awesome?" THIS IS THE BEST POLL EVER. Even more LOL: that "neither do I." Oops! Looks like the scriptwriters lost track of their own question's logic!
Yay for idiots!
Yes?"If you're going to bring Jesus this this, this is what he said." Ooh, brace yourselves for some HEAVY SCRIPTURE. "He said: To love God is to obey God. And so if you're going to bring someone else into your life you are helping them to obey God to the fullest. Jesus said that God created a man and a woman to be married. That is obeying God."Uhhh. How does that answer the question? We are definitely back in non sequitur snow-job territory.
Let me guess: you're going to pop-up a Black person to scold us for daring to suggest that there might exist more than one civil-rights "struggle" ever? And to claim that to raise the issue of one is necessarily to diminish the significance of the other?Ding Ding Ding! Also she suggests that gay people can stop being gay with "counselling."Well, I've got to give iProtect credit for casting such a diverse (paid?) group of multiculti youngsters to spread their disinformation and hate! Bravo!
Oh, and for the record, this is what happens if you click "No" to the last question:
"Great answer!"No joke: that is all she says.
Chinpussy, will you marry me?
hahaha, oh god this is making me crack up at work. Thx
Holy shit this shit is ridiculous. So hilarious. But also it makes me really sad because these people are so crazy. But hilariousness good show.
Uh, THANK YOU! All your responces to these "questions" were the same as mine. I got "DEEPLY OFFENDED" when the chicks from the last question said that who I am is a "choice" and can change with "counselling". Would love to meet her; I have a few CHOICE words for her!
I still can't figure out why everyone wants to get married. I tried it...and it totally sucked.
Fag.
I love how your site requires approval for posts. It's like you need to keep the negative opinions off as to not ruin the gay vibe.
Hell afterall, unless our opinions agree with yours, we have no right to post on this site right?
Thought so.
How could you tell?!?!?!
Ghey,
Feyfriends is committed to the speedy approval of all anti-gay comments. That is why we approved your comment within minutes of its receipt. The reason we require comments-approval is to filter out spam, not to block your fundamental right to be a douche on our website.
Stumbled on your site and got a kick out of your commentary here. Sorry to see the measure actually passed. I wish you folks luck dragging California into the 21st century.