February 2008 Archives
This banned Carl Jr's advertisement is both disgusting and genuinely homoerotic.
After her seminal performance as Woman in Diner in Spaceballs, blonde tartlet Rhonda Shear went on to become television’s Second Wealthiest Actress thanks to her role as the sexy host of USA’s “Up All Night”—the go-to spot in the ’90s for cinephiles and horny dudes alike—where she laid such golden eggs as: “Surfing and Nazis go together like cream cheese and nails,” “It’s hotter than a Pepsi from a hotel vending machine,” and “I haven’t seen this much action on the beach since my bikini top came off!”
According to her awesome Cheap-Trick-blasting Myspace page, you can still catch her at local truckstops wherever in “Pajama Party Show,” her touring slumber party of the freshest of fresh comediennes, or on the Home Shopping Network promoting her line of hot lingerie based on a complex mathematical theory called “Slip Into Slim!” She's even a contributing writer for DOLLS MAGAZINE!
A bonus video of Shear hawking Lace Control Panties after the jump!
According to her awesome Cheap-Trick-blasting Myspace page, you can still catch her at local truckstops wherever in “Pajama Party Show,” her touring slumber party of the freshest of fresh comediennes, or on the Home Shopping Network promoting her line of hot lingerie based on a complex mathematical theory called “Slip Into Slim!” She's even a contributing writer for DOLLS MAGAZINE!
A bonus video of Shear hawking Lace Control Panties after the jump!
Continue reading More Confusing than a Mexican Menu!.
I thought stories about women who accidentally gave birth while doing No. 2 were just urban legends made up by vadgephobic feys like me, but apparently this story is legit:
A newborn baby girl fell through the toilet in a moving train and onto the tracks moments after her mother prematurely gave birth, surviving nearly two hours before being found, relatives said Thursday.It'd take a thorough appraisal and analysis of current locomotive waste-disposal systems and procedures to even begin to fathom how incredible this story really is. But I'm tired, so you're on your own for that.
(h/t Fagistan)
Guess what! Carrie Brownstein is the new Carrie Bradshaw! (Not really, but have you ever noticed they have similar names?!) Anyway, America's favorite member of Sleater-Kinney now has a BLOG at NPR, where she talks all about music. First Slate, now NPR... who is this lady's agent? I'm guessing it's the same as Janeane Garafolo's. Carrie, if you work really hard, maybe you can work your way up to a coveted spot at SALON'S perpetually-disapproving woman blog! And maybe-- just maybe, if your journalism is FEARLESS ENOUGH-- MOTHER JONES!
Anyway, yes, I read about this on Gawker, which is pretty lazy of me and means you've already seen it, but look at the funny picture I made to make up for it!
PS Now that I look, she's been doing this forever, so maybe I already knew about it and forgot? Whatever, so it's OLD NEWS. i'm still going to keep it up because i already made this dumb picture.
PPS Why is Gawker being so HOMOPHOBIC about Sleater-Kinney? Everyone knows "SHRILL" is code for ANGRY CASTRATING LESBO. Oh, what's that you say? Sleater-Kinney IS shrill? Okay then. I still loved them though. I will post a bonus Sleater-Kinney video after the little button pressy.
Continue reading Wanna Be Your Jessica Coen.
Attention nerds: this is a video of a man playing TELSTAR on a theremin. Thank you to l'il ronnie for tipping me to this.
Sweden's favorite redheaded imp invents a new word. WARNING: This is only moderately amusing.
For those who unfamiliar with the joy of PIPPI, please read John Sanchez's classic paean at Blair Magazine.
For those who unfamiliar with the joy of PIPPI, please read John Sanchez's classic paean at Blair Magazine.
Tragedy struck Oklahoma City in 1986, when small business owner Linda Soundtrak was hospitalized because she had gone crazy—crazy for deals. The above footage documents her sad decline.
Believe it or not, Liz Taylor turned 76 today. You wouldn't know it from watching her talk about marriage in this video. As my grandmother used to say, "if I could only be as beautiful as Elizabeth Taylor!!" If only!!!
Happy, b-day, La Liz!
A total fey klassic! Could anything be gayer than an animated Madonna singing lyrics like "pink elephants and lemonade" and "the golden gate where the fairies all wait"???
It’s official: I’m boycotting Southwest. While on a flight from Tampa to Los Angeles, where they were sure to be the next Paris and Nicole, eighteen-year-old best friends Nisreen Swedberg and Sarah Williams were unduly forced to wait for bottled water and, after causing a disturbance on the flight, were met in Los Angeles by four uniformed officers—clearly a case of discrimination. As Williams points out: “Nobody else on the plane looked like us, except us.” (via Funfriends)
In the video above, a baby whitetip gets rescued from the jaws of a 9 ft. Sand Tiger shark in an Aquarium. Apparently, the baby shark survived the attack.
This video totally validates my longheld belief that despite their fearsome, snaggle-toothed appearance, Sand Tigers are complete and total pussies.
This video totally validates my longheld belief that despite their fearsome, snaggle-toothed appearance, Sand Tigers are complete and total pussies.
And now for a clip (from Harry Shearer, the guy who also brought us a raspy Katie Couric being gossipy and style-conscious and calling herself a “tart”) in which Ann Coulter nervously chews Nicorette, pre-broadcast, and explains that she’ll have another only if someone can “chop it up, so I can snort it. That would help.”
There’s some other stuff here, but I'm too lazy to figure out what it is—basically talking heads talking down to their minions.
There’s some other stuff here, but I'm too lazy to figure out what it is—basically talking heads talking down to their minions.
And also: she recounts a dream about Frank Sinatra, pretends to get shot and plays dead, sings a German version of "We Are the World," extols the virtues of a vegetarian diet through song, and snippily characterizes her singing voice as "My Individual God Identity."
And some other stuff.
No Diablo, you didn't...thanks for giving us the heads up!
I'm surprised it took this long for risque, stripper-era Diablo Cody pics to hit, but Egotastic finally has a wide selection of coy, amateurish not-quite-nudie pixx up for your perusal. Check 'em out!
In other Cody news, Courtney Love is apparently totally stoked about Diablo's Oscar win.
New York Magazine has a profile of Chlesea Clinton this month that suggests a future career in politics for the former first daughter. It also reveals her sexy side.
Like her father, Chelsea is, in fact, a big flirt (not something her mother is known for). Approached by a tall model-handsome college jock at the University of Utah, she literally batted her eyelashes at him. ‘Hell-o!’ she said in a Mae West tone before posing for a snapshot with himShe might even be the next President Clinton. Waaaaa. Can't we just have one now???
I was pleased to discover here that this disgusting but common ailment has a name: tonsilloliths, aka "tonsil stones". These tiny, yellowish, and malodorous kernel-shaped calcifications form in the crevasses of the tonsils only to be released by a particularly hearty cough or sneeze. They consist of decaying food matter, oral bacteria, and dead white blood cells, and can be a source of discomfort and halitosis!They even have their own website, with recommended treatment!
Now I feel SO much better about the time I coughed up one of these.
(image courtesy Wikipedia)
Hillary Clinton is asked, by Ellen Degeneres, a simple question—will she or will she not ban glitter?—and of course responds with trademark Clinton double-speak: it’s not a simple “yes or no” question, allow it for some, ban it for others (e.g. those "over twelve”).
I don’t know about you, but I can’t take four (or eight) more years of this! (via Towleroad)
I don’t know about you, but I can’t take four (or eight) more years of this! (via Towleroad)
Of the many demands Brittany Murphy likely makes on the set of her new movie, Across the Hall, the most reasonable is the hourly peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cut diagonally, with the crusts removed.A clip of Murphy right before snack-time, after the jump.
Continue reading It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time!.
That's right. I did just embed an awesome SNL clip from Hulu.com.
Because the puritanical Academy neglected to include Brad Renfro in its montage of recently deceased celebrities, Fey Friends will now take the opportunity to present this “Sexy Tribute” appropriated from a Youtube user named, adorably, “donttouchmetodd” (who is also apparently the keeper of bradrenfro.org).
Thank you to the Slate for keeping its readers abreast of what dirty porn is and is not allowed to bring across the border when visiting our friendly neighbors to the north!
Admissible: "SHAMELESS: Please Fill Up My Holes"
Prohibited: "Strapped by A NAKED LADY!"
Thank goodness someone is making these distinctions.
This was clearly Tilda’s idea. (from Salon)
I had no idea the erratically brilliant British riot grrl/queercore act Huggy Bear ever put out a video. Apparently they did, and for "Pansy Twist" -- their faggiest song -- no less!
Huggy Bear meant a lot to young, music-loving gays of the time because they showed us you could be gay and punk...without being Pansy Division.
Special bonus: penis in the bathtub!
It’s hard to believe that just two decades ago, a wave of baby-skinnings and blood-orgies swept through the humble neighborhoods of This Great Nation. But thanks to a tireless few, like investigative powerhouses Sally Jesse Raphael and Geraldo Rivera, a path was forged for SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) victims like Lauren Stratford to come forward with their shocking stories.
Having been pimped out by her mother to various "smelly" men as a child, Stratford belonged to an undisclosed satanic cult "off and on" for about six years—during which she performed for kiddie pornographers and sacrificed two of her own children to snuff films and another to ritualistic torching—and thankfully lived to pen a best-selling account of her experience, titled Satan’s Underground. Never mind the many, many critics (some of them Christian!) questioning the “validity” of her story, Lauren Stratford was an American Hero, a true survivor—whether it be of SRA or the Holocaust.
More satanic mayhem after the jump!
Having been pimped out by her mother to various "smelly" men as a child, Stratford belonged to an undisclosed satanic cult "off and on" for about six years—during which she performed for kiddie pornographers and sacrificed two of her own children to snuff films and another to ritualistic torching—and thankfully lived to pen a best-selling account of her experience, titled Satan’s Underground. Never mind the many, many critics (some of them Christian!) questioning the “validity” of her story, Lauren Stratford was an American Hero, a true survivor—whether it be of SRA or the Holocaust.
More satanic mayhem after the jump!
Continue reading What About the Children?.
someone just found this scandalous picture of HS the musical's most famous giant overplucked sexbaby doing hot gay makeout with his supposed boyfriend. actually it's just a kiss on the cheek, but they are shirtless and faggy so i guess it counts. anyway, what i would like to know is 1) how do we know this is zac efron if we can't even see his face and 2) is it still gay if your boyfriend is SHANE from the L word?!
(Photo Source)
The news of J-Lo's new mommyhood brought a tear to this fey's eyes. It seems like only yesterday she was a sassy single, blowing us all delicious taco-flavored kisses.
At Zoofur, you can purchase dildos shaped realistically like the members of your favorite animals. And you don’t have to settle for the oh-so-common, albeit delightful, horse dong. You can choose from the tricky raccoon, the adorable mouse, the straightforward orca, and even a tentacle (for those, as the site helpfully notes, who are up for an “alien probeing [sic], or a dip in the sea”) along with an array of fantastical or extinct—and apparently well-endowed—creatures like the gryphon, the dragon, and the raptor, and I know at least one person who will be excited about that.
Check out more hot pics of Jenny From The Block at Planet HIltron.
Please end this nightmare.
During tonight’s CNN non-face-off, one talking head stood out—and it was, unsurprisingly, neither Barack nor Hillary. It was former waiter and Univision anchor Jorge Ramos! In asking each of his questions, this salt-and-pepper dreamboat began by letting a string of sexy Spanish phrases tumble from his sly grin and ended with a heart-melting flutter of bedroom eyes (that were also shooting skeptical laser-beams at Hilly, the recipient of the highly coveted official Fey Friends presidential endorsement, at least for today). Kinda like Anderson Cooper, if Anderson Cooper wasn’t such a whiney WASP.
More sexy pixxx after the jump!
Continue reading Fuck TR Pescod (And Not Literally This Time).
Oh, this old thing? An udderly irresistible PETA ad about milk. (h/t BOBO)
Quite possibly the most important charity single of our time, the 1989 “Spirit of the Forest”—written by the guy responsible for the equally important "Under the Boardwalk”—features a superhero cast of the feyest of fey icons, including Debbie Harry, Donna Summer, Taylor Dayne, Kate Bush, Joni Mitchell, Belinda Carlisle, and Olivia Newton-John. Fighting fire with fire, the anthem features such incendiary lyrics as “I hear the cry of the Yanomami, the kookaburra, and the golden monkey,” cried out emotionally against an acoustic battle between chainsaws and elephants.